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Category: Confusion

  • Sleeping Beauty

    I’d forgotten how hard blogs are. There’s a story to tell and I keep thinking it’s about Nepal. I should be writing about Nepal. I am supposed to be writing The Nepal Story, after all. So, why can I not write about Nepal? Dramatic sigh. I was once told by my mentor to trust my…

  • Nothing There

    I went back to read your words But they aren’t there They aren’t to be found The website says Nothing here There’s nothing there Was there ever? If I can’t read the words I can’t be sure I ever knew you You always knew I was of flightly, flimsy flesh So why take the words…

  • Just because.

    This Medicated Lady is thinking irrationally again. Irrational because. I’ve been considering a diet consisting only of those flavored ice pops especially the blue ones the ones I like the least Irrational because. No one but me looks forward to a psychotic break Irrational because. It occurred to me that I’m tired of being medicated…

  • SuckerPunch: What To Do, What To Do

    It’s happened. A continuation of a saga I thought was as over as it was going to be. Maybe it’s predictable. But the wind is knocked out of me and I feel as though my life depends on how I recover my breath. My ex-boyfriend emailed me, asking how the world was treating me. When…

  • swallow

    I swallow a deep sob because some things are best swallowed. That’s not dirty, swallowing. Take it down, your medicine. Kind words make me sad because I can feel the hard edges of them. I can feel the tenderness of my own soul, and I wish I was just a hair harder. Which makes no…

  • happen

    I take a break from my guilt A night of fun with my unrequited love He’s unrequited but not really my love I need him for much bigger things Bob Seger’s voice haunts Somewhere tonight someone’s thinking back to someone who got closer   I try hard to concentrate this song is about me this…

  • Living Dead

    The doctors and I have an understanding. We say things like, well, your treatment options are narrowing or to mix things up, we tell her, we’ll have to wait and see what the test results say. We do not say, your life options are limited.   We do not tell her she’s more likely to…

  • On Loss

    I think I may have lost my mojo. I’m almost sure I had it at one point. I think I might have been sexy once. Way back, last summer, maybe. The most alluring thing about me now is my side bang, which hangs ever so seductively in my face and sometimes gets in my eye,…

  • Susceptibility

    when the temperature is low is it cold for everyone else I’m susceptible to dehydration ant bites fainting light-headedness allergies hypochondria sadness dry skin picking men who are not good for me good humor plump lips squinty eyes being ensnared height jokes ageism ticking you