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Seriously, what has been up with my sporadic blogging. I’ve been writing but it doesn’t strike me as something I want to put on my blog. I’m working on a series of essays about different aspects of my family.
I have been going out with a much younger man, solidifying my cougar status. It’s been really fun, no pressure. And he’s tall. And I like his laugh.
I do have news. I’m a mother again. On Sunday, I adopted another dog, a beagle mix named Mindy IV who I’ve renamed Emmie (Val, your vote counted). I did adopt her in a manic phase and am now a little shell-shocked. She’s about a year old. I’m going to just say she’s one. She looks like a simple spotted dog mix with a beagle head attached. Beautiful eyes. Bryan loves her. I like her. I mean, she’s got so much energy and she seems alien and I can sense no emotion in her so I’m adjusting.
A fun excerpt from the life and times, baby.
ML: I was the innocent victim of a wasp sting.
ML: [indecipherable words strung together with inappropriate pauses]
Bryan: Hey, you—
ML: mrph [unimaginable babbling]
B: So, basically, you sound just like Person X when he has neurological reactions to migraines.
ML: How do you feel?
“Unnamed Person”: Much better. I was a human geyser. But I’m looking damn good today in my skinny jeans and white belt.
ML: Is it called a human flute? Flue? A slat? [the word ML was looking for was “funnel”]
B: [indecipherable response as ML tries to think clearly]
B: Girl?
B: Call me if you need an am-bu-lance. It too expensive to actually call the am-bu-lance.
ML: meep
B: [pretends to understand and obviously didn’t hear ML]
ML: Stoppit
B: Cheerio, chappie
ML: I will have to execute a name change on new doggie if I get her. Obviously, I like maggie but she looks just like an Emma to me, too. Or Emmie. What is your reaction to having it be a fatty cyst?
B: Please I ain’t Karen. I have superpowers and the ability to communicate with the dead.
I’ve got my press-on nails
a new ring
new hair
slate blue eyes
and a boy who’s helpless in my arms
caught up in the stream
of things
the streamers I made as a 10-year-old
still hanging from the rec room ceiling where my father tacked them
a long ago place
never touched
and now a new place
that takes me back to when I was 21 and how much I couldn’t enjoy my life then
Dear Viewers,
See more of my luminous hair, this time at Bryan’s site, where the new vlog is posted. I think you’ll agree that no one can watch this video and think we are anything less than professional.
Love,
MedicatedLady
a decade in North Carolina
and a forever heart-broken kid to show for it
The long-awaited video debut of MedicatedLady and Bryan Borland – together:
*The poem read by MedicatedLady in the video is “Disappointment” by Mike Topp.
I have nothing to wax poetic about today. So. A bulleted list is in order.
Things one can do to pass time:
- Go on a work trip to DC. Spend 16 hours a day for four days with the children. Wear the wrong shoes. Do nothing that fun.
- Go to Florida to visit a friend. Get third degree burns.
- Become irate at Bryan for his various betrayals, such as not speaking to me the whole time he was in NYC.
- Commence with scandalous online dating.
- Buy bottles and bottles of ibuprofen to use on your inflamed knee. Disregard ulcer risks.
- Plan two months in which you are not home…ever…so you can get burnt out all the time.
- Worry about your dog getting back at you for being gone so long…when is she going to strike and poo in the house. When???
- Poof your hair, shake it out.
- Think way too hard about the U.S. Census and why it doesn’t ask for more information.
- Watch lost Netflix movies.
- Pet your dog.
- Think fondly of your dear readers.
Ramblings of a Medicated Lady: Words of Woe by Loria Taylor 
Your Sympathies: