You are currently browsing the monthly archive for September 2010.
The hours are winding down
up to the start up
time lengthening and widening
it’s time to pass Go
and collect my $200
Things my dogs have eaten:
My pristine Blackberry 8530. My Emmie chewed right through the ALT button and I had to buy me a whole new phone because a broken ALT button means you can’t properly punctuate texts and emails. (Did you know that new 8530s are $500??)
My Blackberry phone charger
My replacement Blackberry phone charger
My peanut butter crackers
Raisins (this is toxic to dogs but of course, it didn’t affect my Poppy at all but I have the vet bill to show for my lack of attention)
The once-white grout in between my tile flooring
My G.I. Jane dvd
At least 8 pairs of shoes (seriously)
At least 2 tubes of Neosporin (not toxic but beware of the doggie gas toxicity you will experience)
Entire ketchup packets
Bread that was supposed to be all mine
At least 6 book covers (good sources of fiber, apparently)
At least the edges of 4 other books’ pages
More rugs and towels than I can count
Each other’s poop (grisly discovery)
Worms (specifically earth worms, not parasitic ones)
A dead bird (almost)
My newly-bought used digital camera (telling are the teeth marks on the lenses)
My USB drives with all manner of writing on them (okay, they didn’t actually eat them but that was a close call)
My daddy’s hand
My neighbor’s respect
My car floorboards
All of their toys
Their dog bowls
My purple sweater
My blue sweather
My pea green sweater
My Clinique cranberry lipstick. R.I.P.
The contents of my bathroom trashcan
The dogs have also eaten away the anger I feel with they happiness they bring…especially when they are asleep.
MedicatedLady: who let the dogs out, bindo?
Bindo: I love dogs and sunshine and butterflies. I welcomed the sun’s light this morning and rejoiced in the sound of birds’ singing.
ML: What? Are you okay?
B: I love puppies!
ML: You’re using exclamations points these days?
B: For the sake of puppies, yes! You have a right pretty Poppy-dog.
ML: Thanks. Are you planning to murder puppies?
ML: Come down from the roof, bindo. You don’t need to do this.
B: Don’t make me do it because I will.
ML: Just calm down.
B: You drove me to it. Fine, here goes, I’ll say it. I’m a reasonable facsimile of happiness.
ML: You disgust me.
My esophagus feels hollow
which makes no sense does it
it’s not a cavity but an empty artery
that’s supposed to be empty
so why the hollowness feels so alien
shuddering with my heartache
is a mystery even webMD can’t seem to solve.
She had involuntary movements of her hand and neck
the kind that makes an observer wonder
exactly what the difference is between a palsy and a tic.
[Alas, it’s been a while. It’s not that I’ve grown away from you, dear reader; it’s that I’m a tap dancing fool who has to tap-tap-tap it out. I think you understand.]
The shake-a-shake down:
I just got a new job.
I don’t have any new puppies.
I recently got my hair did.
I recently became “just friends” with someone I was already friends with.
I’m wondering if spiritual enlightenment is for me if I have to leave my feelings behind.