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I mentioned in a previous blog that I would post the finest confusing rejection I’ve received in my relational career. It is from one Nuclear Luke.

Background: He winked, I winked, he said, “great smile,” I said, “thanks,” he said, “sorry for not getting back to you sooner, I’ve been studying,” I said, “okay, what are you studying for,” he said, “a nuclear test,” I said, “oh that sounds pleasant, are you originally from here?”

And then his last correspondence (July 3):

sorry i saw you emailed, ive just been busy and honestly didnt take the time to respond. im headed out of town to visit family for the 4th. have a great weekend!

No, I am sorry, dear Nuclear Luke, because I deserve more than this. You can’t capitalize the first letter of a word starting a sentence? You can’t bother with apostrophes to signal contractions? You dare send me a run-on?

Dearest Nuclear Luke, you are the biggest piece of shit I’ve had dumped in my lawn today. [Note to readers…this was prior to the ex’s dumping of steaming shit via bulldozer, which completely smothered the lawn. Nuclear Luke’s shit was overruled, I’m afraid.]

Ha. I wrote this post yesterday. This morning I had an email that said, “ok I suck at email. here’s my number.” And I cannot tell you how amused I am. I forgive his lack of punctuation and capitalization simply because he acknowledges that his previous email/response time is oddball. Of course, I have the urge to call him. But then Jade, rightly, points out that how can he possibly have time for me if he doesn’t have time for email. But then, some people are major duds electronically-speaking, yes? And then, Bryan says, see? He loves you because you ignore him. So then I think I want to be loved so I should just ignore him, right? But then I wonder how am I going to ever snag a man if I’m so busy ignoring him. Bryan says it’s a game. I’m pretty sure I’m hopeless.

I considered my options. I wrote them all out. I tried to be measured instead of impulsive. I decided that 1) I did want to respond to him, but 2) only to ask if he really had time to get to know someone, and 3) I put the calling back on him and gave him my number, should  he decide he has time. I won’t call him.  There is no sense wasting time. We’ll see if he can man up. I am willing to consider that he’s not an emailer…although I met him ONLINE. I am perfectly willing to overlook him for distraction’s sake. Still, you know I get myself in trouble when bored, so let’s hope he just says he doesn’t have time. I hate being ignored, that also gets me in trouble.

Trouble=bad.

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It’s happened. A continuation of a saga I thought was as over as it was going to be.

Maybe it’s predictable. But the wind is knocked out of me and I feel as though my life depends on how I recover my breath.

My ex-boyfriend emailed me, asking how the world was treating me. When I saw his name in my inbox, I started shaking. I felt like crying. Now, I’m just shaken.

How long have I wanted to hear from him. How long have I wanted to tell him off. How long did I ache because of him. I still want to tell him off, but I do not want to open Pandora’s Box. It is a bitch to close. I resent this shit being brought up again. Let me do a brief refresher: My ex was an asshole. He told me in bed that he had no affection to give me. But apparently he had other sinister things to give, which have since cleared up, but who can forgive someone for making them skank.

And so since I’m trying to stay in my right mind and not having a knee-jerk reaction, Bryan has encouraged me to take this to my blog and faithful readers. And I will say this: Bryan is probably one of my biggest supporters when it comes to the menfolk. He does understand that there is a lot of first-hand learning that must go on in a girl’s life. He also said this is a good thing because even though I am stunned, this gives me a chance to control “closure.”

 

Possible responses:

 

  • No response. Stony silence.
  • “Well, ex-boyfriend, the world recently told me in bed the other day that it had no affection for me and then gave me a STD.”
  • Part 1: “Fuck.”
  • Part 2: “You.”
  • Nothing. No stony silence, no tell-off. Just be strong and leave it be. I’m not sure I’m strong enough.
  • “The world is treating me great.”
  • “The world is treating me great since I got the restraining order.”
  • “Well, to tell you the truth, there are no sunshine and rainbows. Let me catch you up to speed: a friend of mine got jumped by a grizzly bear and a “grizzly bear” if you know what I mean, I suffered the loss of my aunt, I have had approximately 1.5 mental breakdowns since we last spoke  and approximately 1.5 of them were a direct result of you, I hate peas. I have had a guy leave the country without telling me, had one who wanted to cuddle, one who is very available, one who emailed what is the most confusing rejection slip I’ve ever gotten (to be highlighted soon on this blog, if I get bored), one who was leaving the country to go fight in Afghanistant when I met him, and one who is a therapist…”
  • “I’m not going there with you.” (This was his response whenever I wanted to talk about horrible things like feelings and meaning.)
  • Send a link to this blog so that technically all responses are delivered.
  • Any ideas? Thoughts of encouragement? Truly, I would love your input and I can assure you I have affection for you, dear reader, and I will not give you a STD.
  1. Do you think it’s wrong to text message a suitor twice in a row? If he doesn’t respond to the second one, does that mean has thrown you away?
  2. If you just met someone and they say they are having a bad day but give few details and you don’t really know them well enough to know what to say, do you say anything? Do you say, oh, sorry to hear that? Do you say, care to tell me what’s up? Or do you think this would annoy the suitor?
  3. Do you know where my berry-flavored lip gloss is?
  4. Can anyone confirm or deny the value of herbal supplements (beyond say a daily multi-vitamin)? Do they mess you up? Are there goods one for any particular ailments?
  5. How do you get your eyeliner and mascara not to run or smudge after a while? After a few hours, I have raccoon eyes and am tired of it.

SOB with me

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