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the wait, the long wait
a weather-borne tragedy
oh my sweet defeat
but then among clouds:
helicoptors are the best
the timer reset
through the mist and fog
a clearing among giants
I stand on my feet
we begin at last
but, dear air, where did you go?
lethargy, no, no!
veggie lasagna
yak cheese, lemon tea, dal bhat
hard-boiled egg, no jam
step one, breathe two, puff
first steps are good for the soul
monsoon rain, go ‘way
up the mountains go
as the fog clears, higher still
to the atmosphere
benign mountain slope
here I am from whence I’ve come
the future is up
I am an eager child
Blue eyes lighted like candles
When you come into view
I beam
A moment of hesitation
As I wait for you to return the adoration
Surely you’re happy to see me?
they say I’m at the tip top
but the tip top
of my tip toes
is still less 5 feet
Honey
sweet from the hive
never mind the swarm
thick skin
be damned
go where the action’s at
kill.
the.
nerve.
numb.the.skin.
Oh, Air Force John.
How you’ve helped me this week.
My time of need and all.
You have provided ample distraction from real-life tragedy.
Your silence is better than your hi’s or highs.
Perhaps I would have liked to consider you a distraction in the flesh but no matter.
Oh, Air Force John.
For you, I’d avoid eating Doritos two hours before seeing you.
For you, I’d not resent leaving a third of my peppermint mints at your abode, not to mention two of my bobby pins.
For you, I’d diet.
For you, I’d murder Bryan’s murderous interpretation of me as sad.
Oh, Air Force John.
We have something oh so special.
I do not have your cell phone number or your email address anymore.
I knew what would happen.
But oh, Air Force John, to say, hi again.
You dropped me with two little words. Happy Holidays. What the fuck kind of thing is that to say? I love my men instantaneously.
And am always surprised when the two of us, “us,” combust spontaneously internally how could this happen to me how could he/you not love me why am I powerless to stop myself or him or you.
It’s not meant to be a dig I’m sure
It just does
Deep down
Disrupting fragile roots
Severing some, severely damaging others
Nonessentials are left unharmed
that time of year
when lips get chapped
I stretch them taunt
so the skin rips apart
finally giving way
to flaps
that can be painfully torn away
The walls are vacant
The laughter has died
All, all the gray has left a putrid residue of black
The Abyss has opened up and swallowed us all whole
Ramblings of a Medicated Lady: Words of Woe by Loria Taylor 
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