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Dying Starts Here
July 13, 2009 in Poem | Tags: ailing, death, diabetes, diagnosis, dying, grief, hospital, illness, organ failure, starts, stop | 3 comments
I worry when someone goes into the hospital
Kidneys shutting down
Liver shutting down
We don’t know why
may never know whywhywhywhywhy
haven’t we had enough of this already
once the dying starts, it doesn’t stop
Clogged arteries are blocked lifelines
legs becoming starved for oxygen
good news
he has periphery veins
and leg pains
bad news
if they are cut off, there will oxygen galore
in the form of gaping wounds
exposure and air restored
haven’t we had enough of this already
all the stops have been removed
let us commence with the dying
Living Dead
February 3, 2009 in About me, affliction, Confession, Confusion, Depression: moderate, Questions & Questioning, Rambling, Reflection | Tags: anticipatory grief, death, doctors, dying, Guilt, hospital, the living dead, treatment options | 3 comments
The doctors and I have an understanding. We say things like, well, your treatment options are narrowing or to mix things up, we tell her, we’ll have to wait and see what the test results say. We do not say, your life options are limited.
We do not tell her she’s more likely to die than live.
Which technically is everyone’s fate, but you know what I mean.
In the hospital,
waiting.
I realize
not wanting to live
is not the same thing
as wanting to die.
I realize
it’s not accurate to say
I’ve wanted to be dead.
I have wanted to be the living dead.
Ramblings of a Medicated Lady: Words of Woe by Loria Taylor 
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