Oh, Air Force John.

How you’ve helped me this week.

My time of need and all.

You have provided ample distraction from real-life tragedy.

Your silence is better than your hi’s or highs.

Perhaps I would have liked to consider you a distraction in the flesh but no matter.

 

Oh, Air Force John.

For you, I’d avoid eating Doritos two hours before seeing you.

For you, I’d not resent leaving a third of my peppermint mints at your abode, not to mention two of my bobby pins.

For you, I’d diet.

For you, I’d murder Bryan’s murderous interpretation of me as sad.

 

Oh, Air Force John.

We have something oh so special.

I do not have your cell phone number or your email address anymore.

I knew what would happen.

But oh, Air Force John, to say, hi again.