Things my dogs have eaten:
My pristine Blackberry 8530. My Emmie chewed right through the ALT button and I had to buy me a whole new phone because a broken ALT button means you can’t properly punctuate texts and emails. (Did you know that new 8530s are $500??)
My Blackberry phone charger
My replacement Blackberry phone charger
My crackers
My peanut butter crackers
Raisins (this is toxic to dogs but of course, it didn’t affect my Poppy at all but I have the vet bill to show for my lack of attention)
Snickers bar(s)
Toilet paper
My dignity
My carpet
The once-white grout in between my tile flooring
My G.I. Jane dvd
At least 8 pairs of shoes (seriously)
At least 2 tubes of Neosporin (not toxic but beware of the doggie gas toxicity you will experience)
Entire ketchup packets
Pepto bismal
Gummy snacks
Old bread
New bread
Bread that was supposed to be all mine
At least 6 book covers (good sources of fiber, apparently)
At least the edges of 4 other books’ pages
More rugs and towels than I can count
Each other’s poop (grisly discovery)
Grass
More grass
Worms (specifically earth worms, not parasitic ones)
A dead bird (almost)
Ants
My newly-bought used digital camera (telling are the teeth marks on the lenses)
My USB drives with all manner of writing on them (okay, they didn’t actually eat them but that was a close call)
My daddy’s hand
My balance
My neighbor’s respect
My car floorboards
All of their toys
Their dog bowls
My flipflops
My purple sweater
My blue sweather
My pea green sweater
My Clinique cranberry lipstick. R.I.P.
The contents of my bathroom trashcan
The dogs have also eaten away the anger I feel with they happiness they bring…especially when they are asleep.
6 comments
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September 28, 2010 at 7:59 am
Tel
Still, you haven’t lived. Not until your dog has eaten your wall. Seriously. A #!#!*&!%@ wall in a two year old home. Slightly still bitter….
September 28, 2010 at 8:14 am
medicatedlady
Tel–you just jarred my memory. Okay, the dogs have not eaten any walls as yet. The demon dog I have did eat the edge of a windowsill. OMG, you’re right–the next step is structural damage to my property.
September 28, 2010 at 8:54 am
ebbtide
Had to laugh at this! My dog isn’t a chewer (well, not since the puppy phase anyway) so I haven’t had to deal with most of what you have. Just the one pair of shoes, a corner of the kitchen cabinet and the wall. Yes, the wall. Amazing what angles they can tilt their little heads into just to get at what they want.
Love the “My dignity point”. So true. Especially when people catch you having an entire discussion with your dog.
September 28, 2010 at 11:31 am
Dhyan
i am glad i prefer cats
September 28, 2010 at 1:52 pm
slpmartin
Have you considered getting some fish? Even piranhas would do less damage than your dogs. 😉
September 28, 2010 at 6:20 pm
Val
My dog Cody once chewed a large umbrella plant, the wooden posts on the stairs, my slippers and a bird feeder after it fell off in the wind. My other dog Pepper used to like to steal salmon off the firepit when my back was turned, a dangerous thing because salmon skin is toxic to dogs and will actually kill them. Okay, here is one for the gasps of disgust: I once went to a clients house and her dog had gotten into the bathroom waste basket and had strewn some used sanitary items all over after having torn them to bits. :0 Oh yeah, she never called me again, such was her embarrassment. Now, I have sparkey, a cat that channels his inner dog.