Category: Rambling
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Time Change
My friend, Lamar, recently posted about living in the past and the future and trying to find balance in the now. It made me think. I only have brief moments of clarity in which I totally feel the now. For example, I live in the now when I realize this or that sucks. When I…
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Susceptibility
when the temperature is low is it cold for everyone else I’m susceptible to dehydration ant bites fainting light-headedness allergies hypochondria sadness dry skin picking men who are not good for me good humor plump lips squinty eyes being ensnared height jokes ageism ticking you
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Months Later, In Response
I remember what you said about falling in love before I knew what was happening. New loves without embodiment aside from my imagination. The most fulfilling part of dreaming is before you wake up. Let me sleep for a bit longer.
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Games I Don’t Like to Play
If I took you on confronted you with what I want would you want the same? I’m in a maze and I’ve forgotten that if you trace your path along one side of the maze, you can find your way out. How do I remember? What wall is there to cling to? Oh,…
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fuckball
It’s like learning any other new behavior or cognition. It’s the same as learning relaxation techniques or to challenge cognitive distortions. Anyone will tell you, these things take time, you’ll have setbacks, the thing is to keep at it. Okay, fine. So it’s hard to it when shit goes down because I feel as though…
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Suggestion
When one doesn’t hear what one wants to hear, I suggest one change the topic of conversation immediately. Perhaps this one is a she, and suppose she’s admittedly needy. Validation is required, dear friends. It’s the only way to communicate with her. Otherwise, she retreats to her downtrodden self and she’s worse than where she…
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a small comfort
It helps to remember it’s a numbers game. Not the way my friend, Bryan, counts numbers, adds them together, until they equal something calming to his brain. Instead, one has to remember that statistically speaking, the odds are against you anyway. Writing is a skill. The more you do it, the better you become.…
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Wasted Good Cheer
The vast majority of my good cheer Has been wasted on strangers I’m grumpy now Crabby I think that I am the endearing kind of crabby
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Happy Holidays (What the fuck kind of thing is that to say?)
You dropped me with two little words. Happy Holidays. What the fuck kind of thing is that to say? I love my men instantaneously. And am always surprised when the two of us, “us,” combust spontaneously internally how could this happen to me how could he/you not love me why am I powerless to stop…
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Pastries: let’s not get ahead of ourselves
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Feeling momentarily hopeful is a far cry from being hopeful. My mood has lifted, but there’s a shadow in the back of my mind, always brooding, peripherally threatening me at all times. Meeting someone new is not just scary, it’s terrifying. There’s the whole meeting for the…
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