Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Feeling momentarily hopeful is a far cry from being hopeful. My mood has lifted, but there’s a shadow in the back of my mind, always brooding, peripherally threatening me at all times.
Meeting someone new is not just scary, it’s terrifying. There’s the whole meeting for the first time. There’s the whole “does he like me?” thing. The whole “do I like him thing?” thing. The questions that bite press against the skin sharply: can I continually push beyond my comfort zone, is he worth the effort it takes for me to overcome my panic, is he just like this or that former flame (or the equivalent in his own way).
Assertiveness is tied to letting go. It requires you to own your wants and needs and say to hell with your fears of rejection and your doubts about yourself and the other person involved. Can I let go?
But when I think of the time I’ve spent with this person, I feel as though it’s like a light, flaky breakfast pastry that I want to taste again soon. And it doesn’t have to be an all-consuming event to have a quick bite.
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December 18, 2008 at 2:44 pm
poeticgrin
Battles fought and lost; Battles fought and won.
Swallow hard and give him a call. Swallow hard and go after what you want.
Learn to bake pastries in your own oven to the desired doneness, and you’ll be satisfied, for a while.
Life is terrifying.