This will come as a shock to some of you, but this Lady isn’t as progressive as you might think. Wednesday night, I met a lad for dessert at a local restaurant, one he suggested. We each had a chocolate crème brulee. We chitchatted about people we both knew. There were awkward pauses, but not a terrible amount. He had only a few minor facial tics. He had a strange growth pattern to his arm hair. I did not judge.

At the end, as a polite Lady should do, I offered to pay half. This is a customary for any girl with manners in the South and it’s a chance for the man to be a man. He declined to be a man and was like, “sure, we can split it.” I was stunned. I mean, the whole bill was $12. And besides, I had only $3 in cash, which he happily took from me.

I was glad Bryan was not there. It would have produced the Gay Gasp Heard ‘Round the World. My friend, Jade, was like, “I know times are tough, but…”

Cliched or wrong, I have been conditioned to expect the guy to pay for the first date. I do not believe that he should always pay, and I am all for paying every other time or splitting the bill thereafter. What is ridiculous to me is that he is the one who made the damn suggestion to go to this place.Don’t let dessert be the catalyst for my desertion of you, menfolk.

And also, I wasn’t excited about meeting him anyway. Nice guy, though. Aside from the dating faux pas…and I am not ruling out the possibility he was being passive aggressive because he wanted me to not like him. I mean, he’s a therapist and you know they are sneaky bastards.

Sigh. Dating is the worst thing that can happen to a person.