I mentioned in a previous blog that I would post the finest confusing rejection I’ve received in my relational career. It is from one Nuclear Luke.
Background: He winked, I winked, he said, “great smile,” I said, “thanks,” he said, “sorry for not getting back to you sooner, I’ve been studying,” I said, “okay, what are you studying for,” he said, “a nuclear test,” I said, “oh that sounds pleasant, are you originally from here?”
And then his last correspondence (July 3):
sorry i saw you emailed, ive just been busy and honestly didnt take the time to respond. im headed out of town to visit family for the 4th. have a great weekend!
No, I am sorry, dear Nuclear Luke, because I deserve more than this. You can’t capitalize the first letter of a word starting a sentence? You can’t bother with apostrophes to signal contractions? You dare send me a run-on?
Dearest Nuclear Luke, you are the biggest piece of shit I’ve had dumped in my lawn today. [Note to readers…this was prior to the ex’s dumping of steaming shit via bulldozer, which completely smothered the lawn. Nuclear Luke’s shit was overruled, I’m afraid.]
Ha. I wrote this post yesterday. This morning I had an email that said, “ok I suck at email. here’s my number.” And I cannot tell you how amused I am. I forgive his lack of punctuation and capitalization simply because he acknowledges that his previous email/response time is oddball. Of course, I have the urge to call him. But then Jade, rightly, points out that how can he possibly have time for me if he doesn’t have time for email. But then, some people are major duds electronically-speaking, yes? And then, Bryan says, see? He loves you because you ignore him. So then I think I want to be loved so I should just ignore him, right? But then I wonder how am I going to ever snag a man if I’m so busy ignoring him. Bryan says it’s a game. I’m pretty sure I’m hopeless.
I considered my options. I wrote them all out. I tried to be measured instead of impulsive. I decided that 1) I did want to respond to him, but 2) only to ask if he really had time to get to know someone, and 3) I put the calling back on him and gave him my number, should he decide he has time. I won’t call him. There is no sense wasting time. We’ll see if he can man up. I am willing to consider that he’s not an emailer…although I met him ONLINE. I am perfectly willing to overlook him for distraction’s sake. Still, you know I get myself in trouble when bored, so let’s hope he just says he doesn’t have time. I hate being ignored, that also gets me in trouble.
Trouble=bad.
7 comments
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July 8, 2009 at 11:38 am
mariana
if instead saying I wrote this post yesterday you say I wrote this post every day since I notice you did not capitalize a letter that started a sentence, might sound more interesting.
Regarding not having time for email, given that I am a computer nerd, I never had time for email or chat, because my staring at the screen daily quota is always full and the strength of my middle finger tends to run out after 8 hours of typing. But I did had time for phone or dinner.
Fuck ignoring games, dont play them, don t bellieve what they say about why people do ignore other people. It is all bullshit.
I think your choices 1 2 and 3 are ok.
The you hit a key, you solved part of the mistery: you met online, therefore he relates to people online. If he does not relate online with you anymore is either cause he doesn’t want to talk to you or because he does not have time at the moment.
Damn relationships and our minds too, attempting to justify it all anyway we can.
July 8, 2009 at 11:46 am
medicatedlady
Well, that’s just it. He’s just been off and on…but I wouldn’t say he has ever been present long. I am writing him off until he gives me half a reason not to. I have standards. (Note the sarcasm!)
Thanks, mariana.
July 8, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Jade
I love your sarcasm with your standards!! I agree with mariana. Games are childish and we are adults. I’m glad that you gave him your number, if he want to learn more, he will call. I say write this one off. You are important and if he doesn’t have time, who needs him?
July 8, 2009 at 3:24 pm
jessiecarty
weird!
but see i am that way about the phone, don’t really like to chat on the phone much at all.
but to meet someone online and then say you aren’t into email? just seems odd.
i’d probably move on 🙂
July 8, 2009 at 3:29 pm
medicatedlady
Yes, it’s completely bogus. I love to give cute boys the benefit of the doubt; it’s sort of a hobby to come up with excuses for them. 🙂
July 8, 2009 at 6:46 pm
poeticgrin
I think the thing to do is let him go, and then about 13 years later, write a poem with his name as the title. Write many poems with all of their names as the titles. Put them together into a chapbook called Little Black Book. Become a star.
July 9, 2009 at 7:42 am
medicatedlady
Update: Nuclear Luke texted me at 1:42 a.m. to say: “Hi, I’m really sorry for everything I’ve done or not done. I am really interested in you and will do anything to make it up to you. Please come back to me.”
Yeah, right.
Nuclear Luke texted me at 1:42 a.m. to say he was sorry for texting me at so late but he’s working nightshift.
Seriously. That was the gist of the text. WTF. If my phone had not been on silent, I would have gone into a blind rage. Do not wake me up, people. I will go Nancy Grace on your ass.