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Tag: Air Force John

  • Girl with Bad Attitude Crossing the Street

    Here’s a technique they use: In a perfect world, what would happiness, togetherness, the best date ever, etc. look like? Maybe the question helps some people, but it pisses me off. 1) Before I can even begin to answer the question, I have to imagine a perfect world, which is such a huge issue I…

  • jilting: the best of

    I know I was jilted because of my freckles, at least once. Two, maybe four, times for my hair. They always said they liked short girls but when you’re trying to get laid, that’s probably the thing to say. Let me reiterate. Air Force John was a douche. His hobbies included cuddling, talking about a…

  • Happy

    Warning: pathetic girl-talk ahead. I’m broken again and tired and waiting for a ding from my cell phone to validate my existence. The ding has come daily, but still I wait. This could be the day he doesn’t ding me. I think we can all agree the only thing worse than thinking you’ve lost interest…

  • Olden Times

    I’m not sure anyone will necessarily think this is funny but it amused me. If you want a good time, go back to your old emails and read them. Share them. To: MedicatedLady From: Poeticgrin Date: 2/21/05 MEMO: It has come to my attention that some members of this staff feel that it is professional…

  • How to Get On with It for the Love of Jesus

    If you have to use Aspercreme on sore muscles, wash and rewash your hands. Once or twice is not good enough, because should the icy-hot fire somehow get around your what-not area, it will burn for hours and you will be miserable. If you haven’t already done so, just get on with it. Eat chips…

  • Oh

    Oh, Air Force John. How you’ve helped me this week. My time of need and all. You have provided ample distraction from real-life tragedy. Your silence is better than your hi’s or highs. Perhaps I would have liked to consider you a distraction in the flesh but no matter.   Oh, Air Force John. For…

  • Medicated Lady Needs You, Dear Reader

    Do you think it’s wrong to text message a suitor twice in a row? If he doesn’t respond to the second one, does that mean has thrown you away? If you just met someone and they say they are having a bad day but give few details and you don’t really know them well enough…

  • Feeling of Feeling

    This is what I forgot I make things intimate Putting my hand on a man’s face A man’s neck I like the feeling of feeling him Without fail he closes his eyes I imagine the only thing on his mind is the touch of my skin on his The weight and tremor of my hand…

  • Rub Me Raw

    I finally understand what he meant the satisfaction the gratitude the appreciation of raw lips not from intentional, self-inflicted cracks and teeth marks but from another’s lips and skin your lips and skin

  • Lies about Cuddling (and F***ing)

    He asks wanna cuddle Of course I do. Of course. The only problem is the STDs floating around, the serial killers lurking about, my (in)sanity, and the facts being what they are. Fact: I have never heard the sound of his voice. Fact: I asked if he had a good weekend and his reply was…