Here’s a technique they use: In a perfect world, what would happiness, togetherness, the best date ever, etc. look like? Maybe the question helps some people, but it pisses me off.

1) Before I can even begin to answer the question, I have to imagine a perfect world, which is such a huge issue I am paralyzed. What would a perfect world look like? Fuck if I know and I hate being tied to that question because it makes me think of moldy crackers and teardrops and regular soda that has zero calories and would that really be perfect, is that really a world. World. It pisses me off to think big thoughts, that is why I am so content being wholly self-absorbed.

2) If I had ever experienced the perfect date or happiness, I could certainly answer that question. The point is that I have not experienced such a thing. I can tell you what it doesn’t look like with a Shamdog, an Air Force John, or a guy who plays with his food. But then I think, well, maybe the situation was perfect and I need a different guy. How can you imagine what happiness looks like if you don’t know the color of his eyes and his exact height? If you don’t know if he’s a drug dealer or a Republican?