Writing Inspiration: Dating

Bryan is the tech person here. I don’t know…it looks blue to me.

Yes, judgment be upon you! No, really, Bryan is making me out to be the bad person. I am not judging so much as reading. 😉

That’s too bad. He makes me a judge because he wants me to get hate mail so he can write about it. He takes care of tech because he knows I would let this blog wilt if left to my own devices.

Sparrow, I encourage you to date out of boredom and see what you can come up with.

Sparrow, let me tell you a story. When I first started dating as an adult, I was anxious. First, it was the normal before-meeting nerves. Then, I developed an even worse anxiety: the fear of knowing you are about to crush the person’s heart/soul who’s siting in front of you. I actually avoided dating so I wouldn’t have to hurt people. And I really did believe that they would be crushed if I said no thanks. My therapist helped me see that my reaction was the unusual one and that most people would maybe be down for a minute but would shrug it off. “Medicated Lady,” she said, “you have to allow others to take responsibility for dating. Hurt is part of the game.” That mental frame has helped me tremendously.

Here’s the thing. Dating doesn’t automatically mean forever. I might be projecting my feelings on you?? I need to let you take responsibility for dating. Fear of crushing someone’s heart is an excuse your mind creates to make it easier to say no.

I might add when things stop mid-air (I have had this happen plenty of times), you can always create a story explaining it or wishing for their destruction. Let me tell you a story. I was talking to this guy and he was perfect for me. We met before Christmas and we clicked, but the holidays were a nightmare for me and he was busy and we just drifted off. Or rather he did not text me back. So I was attempting text him a nice “hello” when I got a message back saying that he had blocked me. I was enraged and shocked. I wrote about it at least once or twice on this site…because that’s fucking appalling and ultimately, a fucking cool thing to happen to a person. A week ago, this man texted me. I was like, why you tripping? He was like, I ain’t even know how to block people, that’s weird. I was like, now you trying to say I ain’t know when I’m blocked. Anyway, whatever. So he says he really doesn’t know what happened but we exchanged pleasant enough texts. Now despite the fact that blocking people doesn’t magically happen, I’ve been telling Bryan and our friend, Jade, how this was all a big mistake and making up scenarios to account for the blocking so that I can continue to talk to him. None of the stories include the concept that he intentionally and maliciously blocked me. Like, on purpose. Or with malice.

All this knowledge, I give to you, Sparrow.