- Although I am miserable, I am not miserable over Steve as I was this time last year.
- I am not pregnant.
- I have one more of my favorite blue pens left before I lose it.
- I do not have herpes.
- My eyes are not as dry as they were.
- I like the sting of eye drops (so I think I’ll use some right now).
- Eye drops simulate crying, which I also like.
- My dog has not pooped in my house in several days.
- This year, I became an astronaut, who should not be in charge of landing the aircraft.
- I do not have the H1N1 virus (yet).
- I have my sunglasses for a cloudy day.
SOB with me
Your Sympathies:
CopyScape
Ramblings of a Medicated Lady: Words of Woe by Loria Taylor 
14 comments
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October 16, 2009 at 4:03 pm
paulandrewrussell
You’re a cool writer too.
October 17, 2009 at 6:06 am
Brad
I am not pregant. Strangely, this has never crossed my mind as having a positive connotation. Each to their own, I spose. Can I also take this opportunity to lodge a complaint with Live Traffic Feed. Forest, Tasmania is a long way from where I is. That’s ok generally but it gets a bit depressing when they try to set me up with hot Forest girls. Looking forward to seeing your bullet list of negative things.
October 17, 2009 at 3:54 pm
jessiecarty
i celebrate this positive thinking
and add
– you do not have bubblegum stuck in your hair
October 17, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Val
I’m completely impressed with your list medicatedlady and I would like to compare notes:
1. I am also not miserable over any creature of the male persuasion
2. I am also not pregnant
3. None of my pens ever fucking work, blue, black, red or any other colour, but then that means I don’t have to actually inflict my illegible chicken scratch on anyone vulnerable (does that somehow make it a positive medicatedlady?)
4. I also do not have Herpes
5. My eyes are always dry, as I have used every fucking tear by the time I was forty. This could also be considered a positive non?
6. I like the refreshing sting of eyedrops as well, they beat tears all to hell and they make your eyes moist, attractive and dewey as opposed to red, swollen and ugly puffy.
7. Eye drops make it so I don’t have to cry which is good because I’m all out of those tears.
8. My cat left a stink bomb yesterday but I now know not to allow him to eat left over spaghetti thus ensuring no stink bombs today when I go on tiger turd patrol
9. Astronaut? Hmmm Sometimes I’m an airhead, is that a positive medicatedlady?
10. I do not have the H1N1 or Swine flu yet either and from a reliable source in medicine, the entire thing is bullshit so that is a postive.
11. I have rose coloured sunglasses I wear for those days when denial is all I can muster and I absolutelyfucking love them. Anyone who tries to rip em away from me is yanking the wrong chain.
12. Yeah, this is an extra one…I adore medicatedlady and I’m happy she is back because I also absofuckinglutely adore her too and you tend to hang on to friends who let you hijack their blogs now and again to act out their juvenile need for attention. 😉
October 17, 2009 at 5:09 pm
medicatedlady
Brad–the list of negatives tends to overwhelm me because the glass is not only half empty but the liquid in it is molded and there’s a leak at the bottom.
Paul–thanks!
Jessie–You’re right! Another good thing!!
October 17, 2009 at 5:19 pm
medicatedlady
Val. You came to the right person regarding the conceptualization of positivity. Here are my thoughts on your questions.
#3: the fact that you said “colour” makes the statement positive. Who doesn’t love the different spelling of different countries in Northern Cold Places? And, too, most people are too stupid to understand the meaning behind your chicken scratch anyway so I think that point is neutralized.
#4: Scarlett O’Hara was told by a neighbor (in the book version) that once you’ve seen the worst, you can never truly be scared again. I don’t know if that’s true but by the time one hits adulthood, all sorts of shit has gone down. I think this means that if you’ve cried that much, you have also lived deeply (if that makes sense).
#8: Just FYI. Poppy is being punished for either peeing on my couch or licking it to death. I’m not sure which. She’d just gone out and pottied. I’m not sure she knows she’s being punished.
#9: Airheads are really just scattered thinkers which means one doesn’t have time to dwell on any one thing, which is always a positive.
#12: I love attention!
October 18, 2009 at 10:30 am
bindo
“the glass is not only half empty but the liquid in it is molded and there’s a leak at the bottom”
Now you’re talking!!.
October 18, 2009 at 11:15 am
medicatedlady
Also, Brad, I had no idea that other people had the same issues I had with the live feed. My wireless indicates I’m from Tulsa. I am in or of Tulsa. You know what they say about Forest girls….
October 18, 2009 at 11:19 am
medicatedlady
Also, Byndo (not Beeeeeendo), I had to edit your comment and my previous comment because I put “have” instead of “half.” Also, bindo, I was quite sure that you would get this statement.
Also, Bindo, I know that Byndo (not Beeeeendo) was meant to clarify the pronounciation of your name and, of course, to anyone else that would suffice. However, I need to know the SOUTHERN pronounciation, okay?
Also, Bindo, I think we should have a Dark Place Face-Off one day where we compete to say the darkest things about random words.
October 20, 2009 at 1:29 pm
bindo
Great idea…
Lets use the word (Bryan) to kick things off!
October 21, 2009 at 3:03 pm
poeticgrin
You people are crazy. I leave you for a week or so and come back to discussions where my name is connected to eternal darkness. Do you know how flaming bright I am?
October 21, 2009 at 3:04 pm
poeticgrin
Also, please note that I am not from Lincoln, Nebraska and that one time I dreamed I was pregnant.
October 22, 2009 at 10:31 am
PoeticGrin
DARK PLACE FACE OFF CHALLENGE ROUND ONE:
THE WORD IS – MUSICAL.
November 10, 2009 at 11:49 am
Patrice
Is laughing inappropriate here?
Gawd. I’m going to try this bullet listing thing. It really does give one a kick in the (nuts, groin, shins, butt, ass…)