For the record, Bryan was supposed to read his poetry at 3:15. I was in town by 2:45 when he texted me and was like, “well, it’s done and you’re a sorry excuse for a medicated lady,” which was a bit harsh but he was a diva at a gay pride event so I give him props. Fate promptly bitch-slapped me. Before and after, respectively.
SOB with me
Your Sympathies:
CopyScape
Ramblings of a Medicated Lady: Words of Woe by Loria Taylor 
12 comments
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June 21, 2009 at 8:38 pm
medicatedlady
Oh Dear Lord. The smell.
June 22, 2009 at 1:13 am
mariana
I didn’t know poet grin could bee such a bitch. Just slap him.
June 22, 2009 at 7:31 am
poeticgrin
For the record, the text message I sent her was, “I’m done. It’s okay!”
Mariana, I am shocked that you condone such violence!!!
June 22, 2009 at 7:31 am
poeticgrin
Also, M’Lady, I think you should explain the photographs, the fire, the smell…
June 22, 2009 at 7:32 am
medicatedlady
Ha! Yes, I’ve taken to hitting him with my purse for good measure.
June 22, 2009 at 7:36 am
medicatedlady
Fate bitch-slapped me covers it, I think.
For pasta steamers, remember to add water, dear readers. Otherwise, it will burn and you will be left with the scorched remants of a once delicious-looking microwave dinner and the charred innards of a microwave. And you will be forced to endure the plastic burnt smell indefinitely.
June 22, 2009 at 7:49 am
poeticgrin
I’m curious. What drew your attention away from the microwave? And what did you end up eating for dinner? And why are you lopsided?
June 22, 2009 at 7:51 am
medicatedlady
Your exact words were, “Medicated Lady, you deserve everything you get, especially your sunburn, your swimmer’s ear/gurgling, your sad, shapeless hair, and the wasps which plague your walkway. May your microwave meals always explode. You look chunky today.”
June 22, 2009 at 7:56 am
medicatedlady
You hideous person.
1. I had just read your tag from “Perfectly Normal” which indicated you wrote a poem for me and I was late and didn’t get to hear it when I smelled the distinct crispness of a raging microwave fire.
2. I ate cooooookies.
3. I am lopsided because that’s the way God made me. Also, I have an uneven gravitational pull that is in every way related to the unevenness of my mental stability.
1210, biotch.
June 22, 2009 at 6:16 pm
paulandrewrussell
Hmm, I don’t know what to say to all this, so I’m going to do the intelligent thing and say nothing.
June 22, 2009 at 6:46 pm
valbrussell
Hide the voodoo dolls and the push pins.
June 28, 2009 at 1:24 pm
jessiecarty
ooops!
on so many levels 🙂