I have somewhat bothersome dissociative episodes

in which I look in the mirror and do not recognize mysels

(No, I mean)

I do not recognize myself

or

I recognize myself apart from the human flesh that sometimes binds me

I tell my psychiatrist about this. Hmmm, he says.

What do you think these are about, he asks.

A shrug.

I had been hoping he could tell me

I was hoping you could tell me, I say

But he can’t

and he doesn’t say this is a common symptom for others like me

So we stare at each other in awkward silence

for a pre-determined amount of time in which he is supposed to give the patient the time and space to continue to speak, if they wish

I do not wish

He breaks the silence by inquiring how the Prozac is working for me.

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