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Recognition

I have somewhat bothersome dissociative episodes

in which I look in the mirror and do not recognize mysels

(No, I mean)

I do not recognize myself

or

I recognize myself apart from the human flesh that sometimes binds me

I tell my psychiatrist about this. Hmmm, he says.

What do you think these are about, he asks.

A shrug.

I had been hoping he could tell me

I was hoping you could tell me, I say

But he can’t

and he doesn’t say this is a common symptom for others like me

So we stare at each other in awkward silence

for a pre-determined amount of time in which he is supposed to give the patient the time and space to continue to speak, if they wish

I do not wish

He breaks the silence by inquiring how the Prozac is working for me.

Comments

7 responses to “Recognition”

  1. mariana Avatar
    mariana

    I love your poem, amazing!
    The first part kind of remind me of a story from “the man who mistook his wife for a hat” from Oliver Sacks. Have you read it? there are parts of the book in a webpage called http://www.scribd.com

  2. poeticgrin Avatar
    poeticgrin

    A metaphor for your interaction with the world?

  3. medicatedlady Avatar
    medicatedlady

    mariana–ha! I love it. One time Bryan’s grandma mistook him for a salad.

    Bryan–you and your metaphoric connections. People do often look at me strangely and can’t quite bring themselves to give words of comfort.

  4. mariana Avatar
    mariana

    I read the about the salad confusion, and couldn’t stop laughing. Did she put some vinegar on the “salad”? Sometimes it helps,

  5. medicatedlady Avatar
    medicatedlady

    I just couldn’t go along with it. I patted her arm and said, “I don’t think that’s Bryan, honey.”

  6. poeticgrin Avatar
    poeticgrin

    I’m glad my grandmother can be such a source of inspiration, MedicatedLady. I *never* find inspiration in your life and twist them to further my own gain! Never!!!!

    *Dear Readers, this comment is meant be humorous, as I always twist M’Lady’s tragedies for my own benefit. See: Spammed. Bicycle Seat. Etc.

  7. medicatedlady Avatar
    medicatedlady

    No twisting necessary in this case. Your grandmother thought you were a salad.

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