I knew there would be nothing between us, when you said I was easy to talk to, that you were comfortable telling things to me. Too close to the words he said, and I knew you were a different face, a different name, even a different man, but also, the same. He would tell me things I didn’t want to know. Things that would have made me happier if I didn’t know. Girls, drugs, independence. I’d nod reassuringly and then, die a little inside. Take the words like a dagger in the heart and smile, betraying myself over and over again. You. You want to talk for hours. You want to laugh for hours. But you throw in things, don’t you, just like he did to be sure to push me away. Girls. Distance. Goals. To be sure I know you won’t let me in. It pains me to know you can’t see past my lies and know, in your heart and conscience, you should let me go because I won’t let you go. I will hate you soon because you think, like he did, that telling me what you want and don’t want absolves you of any pain I might inflict on myself in your honor.
Blog Stats
- 33,932 hits
Join 49 other subscribers
Drugged-Up Dabblings:
About burning About him About me about writing About you advice affliction A Happy Poem A Little Angry Best Not blog Confession Confusion Crazy darling Depression: mild Depression: moderate Depression: Severe Dual Meanings Environment Explore Fiction grief hag/fag How to I'll Do You I Thought You'd Like To Know Light and airy as I get love Morbidly Funny More than a little angry Mourning non-fiction Not about him Poem Questions & Questioning Rambling Reflection relationships solo Temp to my dearest travel Uncategorized unfinished business Wander We'd Name Our Child Pookie WE ARE PROFESSIONAL DAMMIT
EMAIL ME
at MedicatedLady@yahoo.com, loria29@gmail.com
Or Facebook Me: www.facebook.com/loriataylor3
Your Sympathies:
The Black Cloud of Tags
adoption Afghanistan aging Air Force John anger anticipatory grief aunt bindo bitterness blog bloggers blogging books breakups Bryan bryan borland cancer Creative Writing Dating death dog dying email ex-boyfriend family friends grief Guilt Happiness How to inspiration interview knowing leigh binder life Lone Survivor loss lost love luminous hair mania Marcus Luttrell meaning medicatedlady Medicated Lady medication men menz Mother nepal pain past Poem poeticgrin Poetry Poppy punctuation reading Reflection relationships remembering right-wing sadness sex shit suffering Taliban texting time to my dearest war witness writer writers WritingBlogroll
- A 1,000 Voices
- A Collection of Perceptions
- Awkward Family Photos
- Coffee Stains and Cigarette Burns
- Down In Me
- Firefly Chronicles
- Fuck You, Penquin
- LaMar. So, here's hoping.
- mariana
- Patrice Lynne Young
- Paul Squires
- Postsecrets.com
- Ramblings of a Medicated Lady
- Savage Chickens
- SHAKE: The Poetry of Bryan Borland
- The Mess Pot
- The Odd Inkwell
- Uncle Tree
- Utopian Fragments
- vox poetica
Old, like I feel.
- October 2017 (1)
- May 2017 (2)
- June 2016 (1)
- April 2016 (1)
- January 2016 (3)
- December 2015 (3)
- November 2014 (1)
- July 2014 (1)
- June 2014 (6)
- September 2013 (1)
- July 2013 (1)
- June 2013 (2)
- May 2013 (5)
- April 2013 (2)
- March 2013 (3)
- February 2013 (4)
- January 2013 (1)
- November 2012 (5)
- October 2012 (1)
- September 2012 (1)
- August 2012 (2)
- July 2012 (4)
- June 2012 (3)
- May 2012 (3)
- April 2012 (1)
- March 2012 (2)
- February 2012 (3)
- January 2012 (8)
- December 2011 (7)
- November 2011 (2)
- October 2011 (1)
- September 2011 (3)
- August 2011 (3)
- July 2011 (2)
- June 2011 (1)
- May 2011 (1)
- April 2011 (3)
- March 2011 (2)
- February 2011 (3)
- January 2011 (2)
- November 2010 (4)
- October 2010 (4)
- September 2010 (6)
- August 2010 (7)
- July 2010 (3)
- June 2010 (4)
- May 2010 (11)
- April 2010 (8)
- March 2010 (8)
- February 2010 (14)
- January 2010 (9)
- December 2009 (5)
- November 2009 (8)
- October 2009 (15)
- September 2009 (15)
- August 2009 (17)
- July 2009 (23)
- June 2009 (24)
- May 2009 (23)
- April 2009 (28)
- March 2009 (19)
- February 2009 (22)
- January 2009 (32)
- December 2008 (18)
- November 2008 (20)
- October 2008 (21)
- September 2008 (8)
7 comments
Comments feed for this article
January 11, 2009 at 11:38 am
poeticgrin
I read this, and I wonder what we can’t know, because it’s impossible to know, but… what if he (#2) was The Wounded and when he looked at you, he saw Her, the same as you see Him (#1)… that, instead of two, or three, there were four.
And the room was too crowded to breathe.
January 11, 2009 at 11:42 am
medicatedlady
You always find a way to make me consider another point of view…when I can’t see beyond my own world.
January 11, 2009 at 4:47 pm
poeticgrin
I suggest to make yourself feel better, you read my guest blog at:
http://lamarj72.wordpress.com/2009/01/11/get-the-lube-out-its-time-to-party/
January 11, 2009 at 11:52 pm
socratesoul
hmmm yes. well said. and poeticgrin’s point of view too.
January 12, 2009 at 6:54 am
Dating Tips
thank you for considering other’s pount of view. thats good
chris
January 12, 2009 at 4:17 pm
medicatedlady
Thanks, poeticgrin & socratesoul, for your perspectives. It helps.
January 14, 2009 at 4:52 pm
medicatedlady
Thanks, Chris.