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  • “Don’t you think orphaned Asian children are the cutest things ever?”
  • “I have been wanting to introduce you two for a while now. This is my lovechild, Bunny, who I share custody of with his other mother, Bryan.” [It’s the Other Mother part that is confusing, not the Honey-Bunny part.]
  • “Do you ever have questions about questions?”
  • “What is your stance on double snaps?”
  • “Will you hand me the fuchsia scarf? No, not the lilac scarf. No, not the dusty rose one. My God, are you color blind?”
  • “I don’t think we want the same things.”
  • “    .” (silencio)
  • “Tell me again, because I do not recall, who are you?”
  • “I know exactly what a Phillips screwdriver is and where you can find one.”
  • “I would not like to cook you dinner. I do not cook for anyone.”
  • “I feel that you’re a little too needy, yes?”
  • “Um, no.”
  • “I do not appreciate your lazy ass.”
  • “I will not tolerate your lazy ass for one more second.”
  • “I would encourage you to remove your lazy ass from my house before I send you to the pokey, motherfucker.”
  • “I do not like huntin’.”

SOB with me

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