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The significant dates. Dates as defined by calendar days but might be construed as dates as in dating, though some of the “dates” were really just mindless fucking. Whatever. You decide the definition(s).

In a month’s time, you have a choice. The averages don’t lie.

• March 5-April 5, 2008: you had 12 dates down with him with five more months to go. You only lasted 53 dates total so you were already one-fourth through your relationship. Over the course of this time, you had 8.8 dates a month or 2.2 dates a week. He divvied his time with almost the precision with which he peeled and cored your heart.

• July 11-August 11, 2009: you were 14 down with 3 to go. A mere 2.33 dates a week for the six weeks you were together in bliss. It was almost good as long as it lasted. Though more dates than the first within the first 30 days, not a statistically significant finding. In fact, he was an insignificant finding.

• April 11-May 11, 2010: you’re 16 dates in plus two on the way and no end in immediate sight. Maybe not sure fire but you have the devotion of a man on average of 4.25 times a week and those kinds of stats you just can’t argue with.