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  • Recital

    Make it hurt. Bryan says it unnerves him when I recite his words back to him repeatedly in conversation. But make it hurt? It’s what I do best. I want to ask him if…

  • Taliban by Ahmed Rashid

    One book leads to another and then you’re nose-deep in Middle Eastern conflict non-fiction. Lone Survivor inspired me to learn more about the Taliban for myself. So, I checked out a book at the…

  • The Whole Shit

    No shit. This is the whole of my love life.   Nerdy military guy (NMG): Wink ML: wink ML: where you be? NMG: I been reading. My life is GREAT! ML: Oh (long, long…

  • Rod Stewart and I Want to Know if We’ve Told You Lately…

    Have I told you* lately how much I like excuses? Especially ones involving elderly parents and work? Have I told you how classy it is for you to invite me to hit you up…

  • Taming the Irrational

    I am consistent. I at least have that going for me. I have a thing for buying high heels that are too tall for me. I have a thing for inappropriateness. I tell myself…

  • Hysterical Blog

    http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/ I don’t know how to add a blog not on wordpress to my blogroll so you will have to bear with me and just click on the link. Funny shit.

  • How to Navigate Threatening Situations

    It’s not true what they said failure always an option in all life-threatening and non-life-threatening situations Prediction. If I am gazed upon by the sun, I will burn. My skin will peel. Repeat until…

  • Girl in the Moment

    Boy says “hi” to girl. Girl says “hi” back. Boy retreats, so girl (with some chemical confidence) solicits boy (Hey you, where’d you go?). Boy replies his life is “GREAT!!!!” (he does not elaborate)…

  • Polish

    It’s a goddamned shame. A single drip of pink nail polish wham-bam in the middle of your perfectly manicured nails, painted in a whitish-topcoat. Because what happens now has everything to do with smearing. Get…