part a

this has been the year of guilt
last year was the year of reckoning
I go through cycles like the Chinese horoscopes

I’m a horse
I’m also a goat/fish tail in the regular astrological wheel
I never liked goats

I’m guilty
I’m also depressed/manic-but-not-in-a-Patty-Duke-sort-of way

I’m moving and surprisingly it doesn’t hurt.
I have distractions from my distractions.

I’ll do anything to make you smile
is not going to replace
I have no affection for you
heartfelt, the latter wins out.

part b

he is no rock star

in accordance with tradition
he wears plaid golf pants up to here
a yellow shirt always with crisscross suspenders
he does not actually golf

he is no ladies man, either

his deep wrinkles sag
he looks younger than Larry King
whether that’s true or not is of no consequence to him
but the little old ladies across the street want to know
just in case he might be a younger man
with all of the perks of younger men
more energy, more sex drive
and with a body like his, how could anyone blame the ancient biddies
creaming their panties in anticipation for his arrival