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Come close

I still picture it in my mind
Pretending to be surprised that I see him out someplace
Me and my new man
Me and my pretty face
Me and my rockin bod
Me actually looking happy
or even
Me actually happy

Seeing him
knowing he sees me
and the highlights he wanted me to get
the ones I refused
as a passive attack against him
He had no affection for me
I had no highlights for him
It doesn’t even out but comes close
Me and his embarrassment
Me and my revenge
Me and my dogged bitterness
Me and my delusions

as if he’s the one I’m getting back at
and not myself

Comments

4 responses to “Come close”

  1. mariana Avatar
    mariana

    You where in love my lady (I am sorry for you)
    I found fantastic the following verses:
    “as if he’s the one
    I’m getting back at
    and not myself”

    That proves you might be medicated but you are not delusional at all, you see things pretty clear, which most woman can not.

    Tell me when you noticed how he looked at you? What did you wanted to say to him? to do? what did you feel, relief or despair?

    take care ml

  2. paulandrewrussell Avatar
    paulandrewrussell

    Nice piece of verse, medicated lady.

  3. Jaliya Avatar
    Jaliya

    “… me and my dogged bitterness,” you write … dammit, that dogged bitterness … ! 😉

    … Sometimes I wonder if depression is, in part — especially with the exponential increase of it in our time — the human organism’s instinctive reaction to just how relentlessly and *doggedly* our kind are ransacking and ruining the planet and its atmosphere — Our species is “fouling the nest” to such an extent that major depression can’t help be one common reaction to what we as a species are doing … I don’t practice a religion but I think right now of Paul’s words in an epistle (to paraphrase): “For I do the things that I ought not to do, and I do not do the things that I ought.” … We are such contradictory creatures … and we suffer for this …

  4. medicatedlady Avatar
    medicatedlady

    mariana: thanks for your sympathy and good humor. If I were in love, it was most definitely one way. This is just a fantasy I have that I hope never comes true. I imagine I’d feel dispair and that scares me.

    paul: thanks!

    Jaliya: doubt is dogged. We do suffer because we are contradictory. Major depression is the result of an eroding world, both internally and externally. Thank you for your comment and for stopping by.

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