I feel as though you and I, dear reader, are beyond polite conversation. That’s why I say I probably will not have a sustained meaningful or sexual relationship with the guy who sent me an email to say hello and that he was surprised he could read the email I sent him through a dating service because said service has been acting up and he can’t read it on the site but the email came through to his real email account so he was able to read it. Then, he signed his name. I tend to attract the socially awkward or the pathologically damaged ones and am beginning to realize that these sorts are not to be fucked. I’m just saying. (Note: I ain’t no ho, I’m just saying.)
Which suddenly reminds me of the guy who stuck his dead fish tongue down my throat. I just don’t recommend doing that on a first date or ever. I was so shocked I didn’t beat him with my purse but I vow to lay the smack down on anybody else that does that. World, consider yourself duly warned.
I don’t like leprechaun hands either. If a man’s hands are smaller than mine, it will never work. I’m sorry. I ain’t trying to hate.
Okay, now that I’ve got my ghettospeak done with, I wish you peeps a good day.
5 comments
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August 6, 2009 at 2:00 pm
jessiecarty
fear da leprachaun!!!
August 6, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Paul
Yo dude. I’ll remember your advice.
August 7, 2009 at 6:11 am
Val
You got my props medlady. 😉 I agree with the leprechaun hands issue and it made me laugh out loud. I think it’s a variation of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry couldn’t get past his date’s man hands. I have a thing too: ears. Not just any ears…those weird ears that stick out at the bottom like Buddha and are flat against the head on the top. Body parts are very important to romance and not usually the parts men think are important to women either.
August 7, 2009 at 7:35 am
medicatedlady
Lephrechauns seem like jolly fellows, and I know many a woman who likes the little man. As a little woman, I love the taller, larger man. I do not like to be in any way close to the man’s size. The more contrast, the better.
Buddha ears…ha. Aka Doberman ears?
Paul–I do not think you need to heed this sage advice. 😉
August 8, 2009 at 4:29 am
Uncle Tree
My hand looks little on the page.
My bowling buddies called me ‘Leprechaun’.
My luck ran with scratch tickets.
I wrote, “A Leprechaun’s Gaze” for St. Patty’s Day this year.
I’m just saying, I resemble your comments. Got green?
My ears are of the hangy-down style. So is my…dumbo.