Due warning: this is NOT a creative or funny post. Unless you want to be subjected to paragraphs and paragraphs of endless venting and bitching, go ahead and move on to someone else’s blog and come back here soon. I adore you, dear reader; I just have issues that the medication is not smothering at the moment.
So my horoscope says I will be especially aggressive this Thursday and I think, oh poor world, you’re in for it today. Ask anyone. Ask Bryan. I stay aggressive. I stay offended.
(Okay, granted, Bryan is not the best person to ask because he truly is constantly offensive to me. He’s so judgmental and abrasive. For example, I invited him to come to my parents’ house this weekend and they are without electricity because of the ice storm and he was saying really appalling things like, “we can go up on Saturday instead of Friday, if that helps. I’ll help your mother in the kitchen.” I don’t think I’ve ever felt so berated in my life. Except for that time when Bryan was like, “medicatedlady, I’ll help you move, no problem.” Why can’t he stick to NICE, pleasant things like accusing me of rapid cycling when I am clearly unipolar?)
I have been short with my mother the last two nights because 1) she wouldn’t just tell me how the gas heat in her house worked, and 2) my father starts talking in the background and laughing loudly every time my mother is talking to me on the phone and she’s like, “did you hear what your daddy just said?” I tell her, “no, I’m on the phone with you.” What’s really awful about this is my mother is truly, truly the sweetest lady ever (ask anyone, ask Bryan).
And then I have *minor* resentment issues with the potential loves of my life because I want fire and sparks and someone who actually calls me once in a blue moon and who I don’t expect to just call me out of the blue one day to tell me he’s back in Japan and oh, he didn’t have a chance to tell me beforehand but I was a good person to “hang out” with. And then I’ll be angry. I’m already angry, a sort of a pre-emptive rage/resentment combo that brings up my rage/resentment concerning other assholes who have sinned against me. What keeps going through my head is I can’t even say we’re friends because I think I was just someone to kill time with. I’m apparently only worthy of being someone to kill time with and I am angry about it.
No. I’m bitter about it.
So, world, I am rooting for you. I sincerely hope you can withstand my rampage. I’ve had too much caffeine already, world. That’s probably not a good sign either. I am trying to stifle myself with lots of food and ice cream and creating toilet seat flair on facebook, but I don’t think it’s working. But, fear not, world, my next doctor’s appointment is tomorrow.
6 comments
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January 29, 2009 at 11:23 am
poeticgrin
May you experience each day as a sacred gift woven around the heart of wonder.
January 29, 2009 at 11:29 am
medicatedlady
You are hideous.
January 29, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Bindo
There is no such thing as TOO much coffee, cigarettes for that matter, weed or people that you love to hate.
There is no such thing as TOO much anger, bitterness and jaded angst.
Rant, rage, explode, what difference will it make in 100 years, hell, next week. Self centered assholes abound, ask anyone with a name.
*grin*
January 29, 2009 at 3:49 pm
poeticgrin
“tags with as many words as my post” HA
January 29, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Paul
Holey mackeral, I was all prepared for fire and brimstone raging of great venomosity and then it was nothing more than the flutterings of a feather. All those things are perfectly acceptable annoyances, anyone would be annoyed by them, especially Bryan’s insufferable positivity. Next time you wish to vent please include some swear words.
January 29, 2009 at 7:15 pm
lamarj72
Your momma is SUPER SWEET! Even though I’ve never gotten to eat her food, I love her.