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Month: May 2009

  • Breadcrumb Scabs

    My poems Patio Gas Can and Since the Day I Was Born will be published in the 10th issue of Breadcrumb Scabs Magazine, one issue after Bryan Borland makes his debut in the same. Why can’t I ever be first? This is just like the time he won the creative writing award in Mrs. Matheny’s…

  • Recital

    Make it hurt. Bryan says it unnerves him when I recite his words back to him repeatedly in conversation. But make it hurt? It’s what I do best. I want to ask him if he believes in messages sent through time and space. I want to ask him if it’s possible whoever said that phrase…

  • Taliban by Ahmed Rashid

    One book leads to another and then you’re nose-deep in Middle Eastern conflict non-fiction. Lone Survivor inspired me to learn more about the Taliban for myself. So, I checked out a book at the library called Taliban: Militant Islam, Oil and Fundamentalism in Central Asia by Ahmed Rashid, who is a Pakistani journalist who has…

  • The Whole Shit

    No shit. This is the whole of my love life.   Nerdy military guy (NMG): Wink ML: wink ML: where you be? NMG: I been reading. My life is GREAT! ML: Oh (long, long pause as ML contemplates the greatness of NMG’s life) ML: Whatche reading? NMG: Reading bout ‘Nam ML: Sweet. I like death.…

  • Rod Stewart and I Want to Know if We’ve Told You Lately…

    Have I told you* lately how much I like excuses? Especially ones involving elderly parents and work? Have I told you how classy it is for you to invite me to hit you up if I get bored at ***-***-**** without your knowing or asking for my name? I suppose I could call myself “you…

  • Taming the Irrational

    I am consistent. I at least have that going for me. I have a thing for buying high heels that are too tall for me. I have a thing for inappropriateness. I tell myself that I will wear them in my house to break them in, learn how to walk in them, and firm my…

  • Hysterical Blog

    http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/ I don’t know how to add a blog not on wordpress to my blogroll so you will have to bear with me and just click on the link. Funny shit.

  • How to Navigate Threatening Situations

    It’s not true what they said failure always an option in all life-threatening and non-life-threatening situations Prediction. If I am gazed upon by the sun, I will burn. My skin will peel. Repeat until I get skin cancer and die. That’s failure or success, depending on your life view.

  • Girl in the Moment

    Boy says “hi” to girl. Girl says “hi” back. Boy retreats, so girl (with some chemical confidence) solicits boy (Hey you, where’d you go?). Boy replies his life is “GREAT!!!!” (he does not elaborate) and that he’s “kind of been doing [his] own thing. [He] studies and reads a lot.” Boy asks girl how she…

  • Polish

    It’s a goddamned shame. A single drip of pink nail polish wham-bam in the middle of your perfectly manicured nails, painted in a whitish-topcoat. Because what happens now has everything to do with smearing. Get the acetone. Get the q-tips. Get the cotton balls. Get what you can. It won’t matter. Perfection won’t be perfection any…