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I am consistent.

I at least have that going for me.

I have a thing for buying high heels that are too tall for me.

I have a thing for inappropriateness.

I tell myself that I will wear them in my house to break them in, learn how to walk in them, and firm my ass.

I buy them in unreasonable colors.

I do not have grape anywhere in my wardrobe.

I still felt compelled to buy the beige and grape high heels yesterday.

I noticed too late the right shoe was a size 6.5 and the left was a 6.

I figured this figured.

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