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I am consistent.

I at least have that going for me.

I have a thing for buying high heels that are too tall for me.

I have a thing for inappropriateness.

I tell myself that I will wear them in my house to break them in, learn how to walk in them, and firm my ass.

I buy them in unreasonable colors.

I do not have grape anywhere in my wardrobe.

I still felt compelled to buy the beige and grape high heels yesterday.

I noticed too late the right shoe was a size 6.5 and the left was a 6.

I figured this figured.

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My friend says

it’s perfectly normal

in context

 

My lip

swelled to the size of Angelina Jolie’s lips on collagen

came close to anaphylactic shock

but for severe allergies

it’s perfectly normal

in context

 

I can’t concentrate

and I panic often

but for being depressed

it’s perfectly normal

in context

 

I peak around the corner

to see if she’s in her office

and feel relief when she’s not

but for being paranoid

it’s perfectly normal

in context

 

And I think

I don’t want to be in context

if I’m perfectly normal

what fun am I?

SOB with me

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