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It’s like learning any other new behavior or cognition. It’s the same as learning relaxation techniques or to challenge cognitive distortions. Anyone will tell you, these things take time, you’ll have setbacks, the thing is to keep at it. Okay, fine. So it’s hard to it when shit goes down because I feel as though I care. I feel frustrated because wires cross or don’t connect at all. I just have to repeat it, a mantra, over and over: fuckitfuckitfuckitfuckitfuckit.
And then.
Beneath my eyes but above my cheek
I feel angry tears
almost forming
but not even bothering to rise to the surface
because it doesn’t even matter
why I’d be angry or why I’d cry
because I’m not supposed to care
sometimes I manage
and sometimes I don’t
Fuck it.
Your Sympathies: