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I had an epiphany. Again. It occurred to me as I was listening to the ends and outs of a loan forgiveness program where teachers who are employed in high-need areas have their student loans repaid (forgiven). What every single woman and gay man needs to do is establish a Man-Forgiveness Policy for which each potential man is evaluated and granted a full or partial forgiveness to his inevitably stupid-ass actions and comments. I haven’t worked out all the kinks and there are clear differences between loans and relationships. But essentially, so long as the man is meeting certain requirements, he gets forgiven.


We probably all have these policies in place so take a moment to assess your own.


My standing policy. If he’s cute, give him another chance…no matter how many times you’ve given him chances. If he’s over 6’0 and cute, he should be given exceptional leeway and any bone he throws, you should chase after it. If he’s cute, over 6’0, AND has dark hair, he should always, automatically, unconditionally, be forgiven.


My eligibility requirements. Must not play with food. Must be jackass. Must be cute.


My restrictions. If he becomes un-cute or stooped or plays with food, he is subject to immediate non-forgiveness and dismissal.


I realize, though, that my requirements were pretty low (although admittedly, they were too high for the men I chose). Recent experiences have prompted me to issue special regulations:

Must not leave country without prior approval/notification. Must have affection to give. Must make me feel pretty/wanted. Must follow through on at least 25% of what he says he will do.


So there you have it. By no means is this the only policy out there. Feel free to share your own policies.

SOB with me

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