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…because at the end of the day, I connected two comments together and realized how horrifying disrespectful it is to one person and how it’s also sadly true for the other. My aunt lays in the hospital with major health issues, all of which are simple peasant girls surrounding Queen Cancer.  She needs a higher blood count and has an infection, both of which have to be treated before her next round of chemo. The disease and the chemo are aggressive, so we have to play the time game. Will she get well enough for her next round of chemo? Will she then be able to tolerate chemo?

Before I knew about the infection my aunt has, I said to poeticgrin: I would love to have the flu/sickness right now.  I meant it for completely selfish reasons. Get out of work.  Sleep. Doing nothing.

I want to be a little sick

When she’s a lot

When a little sick

Turns into intensive care units

To emergency units

To the time of death

To the morgue

To the funeral

To be buried.

Or burned.

She lays in the hospital bed

moaning in pain

her mouth forming a perfect “O”

where her toothless smile should be

her eyes squeezed shut

as if every fiber of her being

wants to purge itself

of itself

of the pain and disease inside


And I wonder:

when can I leave?

SOB with me

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