You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘About me’ category.

The new one says
casually
I like you.
I say, I like you, too.
We continue driving
barely touching fingers.

That new one
with his easy smile
that I sense is not so easy.

The new one
who will never win my complete adoration
Typical manspeak he meant it as a compliment
It wasn’t.
He said
I like hanging out with you
and that is the same as saying
fuck you.

There are crumbs in my cleavage
cracker flakes in my bra
I don’t mind
I look down, acknowledge them
shrug my shoulders
It is in my capacity to eat crumblessly
and to rid my underthings of existing crumbs
It is not, however, in my nature to bother with such
since my being is a mere collection of assorted crumbs held together
if for no other reason than God has been too lazy
to brush me away
thusfar

This Medicated Lady is thinking irrationally again.

Irrational because.
I’ve been considering a diet consisting only of those flavored ice pops
especially the blue ones
the ones I like the least

Irrational because.
No one but me looks forward to a psychotic break

Irrational because.
It occurred to me that I’m tired of being medicated
tired of being in need of medication
tired of being in need
tired of being

Irrational because.
Right is what’s right
right as opposed to wrong
right as opposed to left
right as opposed to write
write as opposed to rite

Irrational because.
It makes sense.

Irrational because.

Too available

My diagnosis
My judgment

And then
I saw him
looking trendy and sweet
ordering a burrito with guacamole and cheese.
There was no air conditioning
so we sweated it out
while we relaxed in each other’s company.
His hair looked soft
as did his hands.

And as it turned out
soft
is
what they were.

My ex-boyfriend asked
          How is the world treating you these days?
My ex-boyfriend said
          I have no affection to give you.

So when my new boyfriend says
          I have a headache.

I do not say
          I’m sorry, honey.
I do not say
          Is there something I can do to make you feel better?
I do not say
          I will take care of you.

I say
          Oh really.
I say
          You should probably take something for that.

Bunny and I met recently through Bryan and we’ve fallen in love. He’s also our Asian love child, which has a little bit of an Oedipus-esque twist minus the shame and eyegauging, and I am happy to share the fruits of our love with all of my dear readers.

I. From dearest Bunny Belletryst.

Careful, my medicated lady, for if
you prescribe, know this, a narcotic, is what
you’ll imbibe.
A bunny leaps,
reads the label, but what it should say,
is a bunny takes you, takes you,
may lead you astray.

Should my jolly roger affect you lightly, pop a few like jolly ranchers…
Should my taste suit you, a Pavlov-drooling, babbling, witty banter…
take more. take more. take more.

What’s your dosage, my lady?
Can you take the bunny-pill pledge, Lady?
If you think the shoddy design on the old bottle is faded,
just read the poem,
the inscription, get jaded.

A bunny leaps and leaps and leaps.
And so will you, come, creep
to my bottle, hold out your hand.
Look before you leap,
or you may never understand.

II.
From MedicatedLady to Bunny.

An indelible duo
of heart and head
Your Honey to my Bunny.

Twenty-four hours is too long to decide to love.
Let’s make it snappy
and I’ll give you double snaps
and a freckled smile
not much to give
but what I have.

It’s not that I think I’m good
it’s that I know you are
and I’m happy
to follow you
wherever your bunny trails may lead.

See Bunny’s blog at http://brbelletryst.wordpress.com/.

He’s done it again

reminded me of him

a text tone I used to long for

and be excited about

 

He inspires bad things

ending phrases with prepositions

which I know is wrong

but I do it anyway when I think of him

 

He’s left an imprint on my life

like my friend says

and I will be writing and thinking of him

to the end of my days

 

But I tire of him and me. I did then and I do now.

 

Note: just a little ditty I wrote about the Asshole a while back. I feel as though maybe I posted this before but I can’t find it if I did. You’d think I’d be able to remember what tags I would have used.

It’s happened. A continuation of a saga I thought was as over as it was going to be.

Maybe it’s predictable. But the wind is knocked out of me and I feel as though my life depends on how I recover my breath.

My ex-boyfriend emailed me, asking how the world was treating me. When I saw his name in my inbox, I started shaking. I felt like crying. Now, I’m just shaken.

How long have I wanted to hear from him. How long have I wanted to tell him off. How long did I ache because of him. I still want to tell him off, but I do not want to open Pandora’s Box. It is a bitch to close. I resent this shit being brought up again. Let me do a brief refresher: My ex was an asshole. He told me in bed that he had no affection to give me. But apparently he had other sinister things to give, which have since cleared up, but who can forgive someone for making them skank.

And so since I’m trying to stay in my right mind and not having a knee-jerk reaction, Bryan has encouraged me to take this to my blog and faithful readers. And I will say this: Bryan is probably one of my biggest supporters when it comes to the menfolk. He does understand that there is a lot of first-hand learning that must go on in a girl’s life. He also said this is a good thing because even though I am stunned, this gives me a chance to control “closure.”

 

Possible responses:

 

  • No response. Stony silence.
  • “Well, ex-boyfriend, the world recently told me in bed the other day that it had no affection for me and then gave me a STD.”
  • Part 1: “Fuck.”
  • Part 2: “You.”
  • Nothing. No stony silence, no tell-off. Just be strong and leave it be. I’m not sure I’m strong enough.
  • “The world is treating me great.”
  • “The world is treating me great since I got the restraining order.”
  • “Well, to tell you the truth, there are no sunshine and rainbows. Let me catch you up to speed: a friend of mine got jumped by a grizzly bear and a “grizzly bear” if you know what I mean, I suffered the loss of my aunt, I have had approximately 1.5 mental breakdowns since we last spoke  and approximately 1.5 of them were a direct result of you, I hate peas. I have had a guy leave the country without telling me, had one who wanted to cuddle, one who is very available, one who emailed what is the most confusing rejection slip I’ve ever gotten (to be highlighted soon on this blog, if I get bored), one who was leaving the country to go fight in Afghanistant when I met him, and one who is a therapist…”
  • “I’m not going there with you.” (This was his response whenever I wanted to talk about horrible things like feelings and meaning.)
  • Send a link to this blog so that technically all responses are delivered.
  • Any ideas? Thoughts of encouragement? Truly, I would love your input and I can assure you I have affection for you, dear reader, and I will not give you a STD.

I take a break from my guilt

A night of fun with my unrequited love

He’s unrequited but not really my love

I need him for much bigger things

Bob Seger’s voice haunts

Somewhere tonight someone’s thinking back to someone who got closer

 

I try hard to concentrate

this song is about me

this song is about my love life

this song is about my woe

 

Only I don’t believe myself

I believe in the tears I feel dripping from my chin

and the sound of my ugly cry noises

 

Someone’s not quite sad, only disbelieving

 

This is not about her

it is not about her

it’s not about her

She’s not being sung about

this song is not about her

except that it is

 

it’s a song about her absence

 

Somewhere tonight

any number of things are happening

but she isn’t

she’s not happening, she’s happened

Believe it or not, people don’t think of me as particularly brash.

Perhaps pessimistic but I’ve been called many a time “happy go lucky,” which is ironic and sad because I am not happy or lucky and I don’t like to go anywhere.

Or as Bryan would say, I’m only happy when I’m in my dark place. If I’m not in my dark place, Bryan says I’m manic. When I’m convinced I want a dog as big as me, Bryan says I’m manic…but encourages me just the same (fodder for his good time, you know). When I tell Bryan I have a new boyfriend after one date, he says, “of course you do, Manic One.” When I don’t stay in bed all day, Bryan says I’m manic.

I do not feel manic. I feel tremors. I’ve grown weary of roller coasters. I’d prefer a flat-line (except of course when I’m flat-lined, I hate it).

SOB with me

Blog Stats

  • 32,433 hits

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 49 other followers

EMAIL ME

at MedicatedLady@yahoo.com, loria29@gmail.com Or Facebook Me: www.facebook.com/loriataylor3

CopyScape

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape
%d bloggers like this: