The Handing of the Lemons

When life hands you lemons, I suggest
• having narcotics on hand
• having a friend-spouse who will tell your business to the world
• cocooning
• curling up a ball and rolling yourself somewhere dark and safe
• blocking all light
• you think about those people who are allergic to sunlight
• giving to a charity of some sort
• reflecting on your distinct dislike for lemon-flavored anything, aside from Dum-Dum suckers
• sending lots of emails
• posting lots of posts
• stealing office post-it notes
• adding junk to your already junked-up car
• watching your tan fade
• showing your tan who’s boss by applying tanner
• you make a list of every possible response you can have to every possible situation in your life
• you complain to everyone how tired you are
• asking those around you for some good knock-knock jokes

Which reminds me. Do you know any good knock-knock jokes?


Comments

3 responses to “The Handing of the Lemons”

  1. Yass, but what about Lemony Snicketts? Hehehe
    I was going to tell a Sarah Silverman joke

    But…
    Its to distasteful for your family oriented blog *grin*

  2. jessiecarty Avatar
    jessiecarty

    I think your list is a poem, if you didn’t already know that 🙂

    Knock Knock
    who’s there?
    Ether?
    Ether who?
    Ether bunny!

    hahahahahahah

  3. And don’t forget lemon juice on your hair, along the lines of putting tanner on your fading tan…the results will distract you if nothing else (as will Lemony Snickett, an expert on unfortunate events.)

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