This will come as a shock to some of you, but this Lady isn’t as progressive as you might think. Wednesday night, I met a lad for dessert at a local restaurant, one he suggested. We each had a chocolate crème brulee. We chitchatted about people we both knew. There were awkward pauses, but not a terrible amount. He had only a few minor facial tics. He had a strange growth pattern to his arm hair. I did not judge.
At the end, as a polite Lady should do, I offered to pay half. This is a customary for any girl with manners in the South and it’s a chance for the man to be a man. He declined to be a man and was like, “sure, we can split it.” I was stunned. I mean, the whole bill was $12. And besides, I had only $3 in cash, which he happily took from me.
I was glad Bryan was not there. It would have produced the Gay Gasp Heard ‘Round the World. My friend, Jade, was like, “I know times are tough, but…”
Cliched or wrong, I have been conditioned to expect the guy to pay for the first date. I do not believe that he should always pay, and I am all for paying every other time or splitting the bill thereafter. What is ridiculous to me is that he is the one who made the damn suggestion to go to this place.Don’t let dessert be the catalyst for my desertion of you, menfolk.
And also, I wasn’t excited about meeting him anyway. Nice guy, though. Aside from the dating faux pas…and I am not ruling out the possibility he was being passive aggressive because he wanted me to not like him. I mean, he’s a therapist and you know they are sneaky bastards.
Sigh. Dating is the worst thing that can happen to a person.
Ramblings of a Medicated Lady: Words of Woe by Loria Taylor 
5 comments
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July 10, 2009 at 3:33 pm
valbrussell
Okay, lets try this again. I hit a button and watched my comment disappear because I’m having an idiot day. Okay, dating is scarring. Dating is exhausting and blind dating is insanity.
Paying…I think it depends on who asks who out. If he asks he pays, if you ask you pay. I’ve got a lovely dating story for you Meditaced lady, from the annals of my wasted youth and it’s about a man in uniform so you may find it interesting.
I was asked out by a cop, he was 26, I was 19. He was fine to look at and he picks me up in his sleek black corvette. We see a movie, when he informs me I need to pay half. I’m good with it, but then it takes a strange turn. He suggests we get a bite to eat and a refreshing beverage at our local Pizza Hut. HE orders, against my wishes, a SMALL pizza and we sit while I watch him eat all but one piece. As he proceeds to belch and expel his methane, he regales me with the tale of his mental breakdown and how he had to be subdued because he was going to shoot himself at the copshop during his shift. I’m now fully alarmed and want to get the fuck out of there fast but we sit there until he has exhausted all ways to horrify me. Finally, to my extreme relief, he tells the waiter to put the sliver of pizza in a box to go and then passes it to me and asks for half of the tab which I refuse to pay because I didn’t eat any. He was miffed. I didn’t give a shit I was miffed. I’m already a bitter bunny and I just want to get out of here and go home. He then drops me off at my apartment and…ready for this…ASKS me for the sliver of pizza so he can eat it for breakfast the next day. He got the pizza alright. LOL
July 10, 2009 at 4:49 pm
jessiecarty
I don’t know which one to laugh at more ML your pitiful date or Val’s comment!
Lordy, I’m so glad I never really dated.
Then again I was a lame-o who just had a steady pretty much from the time I was 14.
This, btw, was my favorite part 🙂
” passive aggressive because he wanted me to not like him. I mean, he’s a therapist and you know they are sneaky bastards.”
July 13, 2009 at 7:46 am
medicatedlady
Val….this is (sadly for you) hysterical. You are very supportive, and I appreciate you. I had a good date Saturday. He paid.
Jessie….I think Val’s wins out. 😉 I don’t think it’s lame-o to avoid dating. EVER. It’s a strictly numbers game…as in there are more wrong people for you than “right” and so the odds of having a good date are already stacked against you before you ever meet the next gentleman/woman caller.
July 15, 2009 at 8:19 pm
1writegirl
Dating sucks. It’s love that is glorious.
July 16, 2009 at 10:02 am
Patrice
I don’t know whether guffaws or tears are in order here – but as usual, your comments and commentors are priceless.
I’ve discussed the “who pays” thing ad nauseum with my ex – and several women friends. I’ll bet you can guess who’s on which side…
(My ex is a total cheapskate who’s been in therapy for thirty years. Sneaky bastardism is contagious you know…)