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Month: February 2009

  • And Another Thing

    I told my friend, I think this one seems worse than the last one. She said, I wouldn’t go that far, and I laughed. Still, he’s no winner. Which is really what bothers me…the other one was a flat-out jerk and I just chose to look the other way by contorting my head, like that…

  • What’s Written Is True

    He writes about me because he knows I like it or to get out of his own mind though I can’t imagine mine is a relief   I’m redundant I fret and marinate and I make things dismal things the heart-weary understand but tire of I tire of me too   My writing is compulsive…

  • Traitor: An Acknowledgement, Nothing Profound

    My friend says, “you’re not a traitor.” And it touches me in a way that I can’t quite define, except to say it’s a mixture of relief and grief and something else. Because I miss him. The first one, I mean. I miss smiling.   I have a secret memory I won’t share but it…

  • He Thinks, She Thinks: More on Bitterness

    If I weren’t so self-involved, I’d ask you how you were. I’d ask you how you feel about the stimulus package and Oprah and landscaping and your family. I’d remember your birthday, and I’d say, Happy Birthday. I’d recognize you as someone not to be stepped on, someone worthy of common decency.   As it…

  • The Bitter End

    And so we’re here. The bitter end. My friend says drunkenly.   I’ve been living here for ages, I say in a sleep haze.   We talk for a few moments. We slur. It doesn’t matter how indecipherable the words are. We understand each other.   I think I drift off to sleep. He’s talking to other…

  • Molding History.

    …and so now that he’s history, it’s time to define him for all time. I’m partial to changing the reference of his Christian name, L***, to a more accurate description, my “would’ve been boyfriend if he hadn’t have left the country without telling me” man. I guess for short, I could refer to him by…

  • Context Normalcy

    My friend says it’s perfectly normal in context   My lip swelled to the size of Angelina Jolie’s lips on collagen came close to anaphylactic shock but for severe allergies it’s perfectly normal in context   I can’t concentrate and I panic often but for being depressed it’s perfectly normal in context   I peak…

  • Venting: Violence is Bullshit

    WTF, world. I am enraged that someone planted a bomb in our head of the medical board’s car (I’m an Arkansan, dear reader). Now, he may or may not be a good person or a good doctor–I know nothing about him–but no one deserves to be blown up as they head to work. I am glad he…

  • Dentures; A Bad Day

    I can’t believe my day already my body is wearing out my nerves are frayed my teeth are falling out I put them back on with denture glue this is how it’s going to be from now on a repair job on a no-longer-new car

  • Found Out

    Most of the time, she fancies herself unstable but really, she is just incompetent. Really, she’s just a fraud. Really, she is just addicted to feeling sorry for herself.   Today, she would rather sit and stare at the stone-colored zipper on her fleece jacket than anything else, besides sleep. She thinks about how she…